{"id":11,"date":"2012-09-18T01:07:03","date_gmt":"2012-09-18T01:07:03","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/smugscout.com\/?page_id=11"},"modified":"2012-11-02T15:15:19","modified_gmt":"2012-11-02T22:15:19","slug":"smug-lexicon","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"http:\/\/smugscout.com\/?page_id=11","title":{"rendered":"Smug Lexicon"},"content":{"rendered":"<div><a href=\"http:\/\/smugscout.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/09\/IMG_5479.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignnone size-medium wp-image-12\" title=\"White heron tea stand\" src=\"http:\/\/smugscout.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/09\/IMG_5479-300x225.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"225\" srcset=\"http:\/\/smugscout.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/09\/IMG_5479-300x225.jpg 300w, http:\/\/smugscout.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/09\/IMG_5479-1024x768.jpg 1024w, http:\/\/smugscout.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/09\/IMG_5479-400x300.jpg 400w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" \/><\/a><\/div>\n<ul>\n<li>Artisanal: appropriately, if absurdly, expensive and beautifully, if cynically, packaged to appeal to the Smug consumer<\/li>\n<li>Backyard: unrelated to an actual yard, refers to anything you\u00a0<em>could<\/em>\u00a0make by hand if you didn\u2019t prefer to pay someone an exorbitant amount to make by hand<\/li>\n<li>Charred: artisanal black coating on bread, pizza, or vegetables, what you used to know as &#8220;burned to a crisp&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>Cold-pressed: superior juices and oils because you do not abuse your vegetables with blades but rather with heavy granite millstones<\/li>\n<li>Crafted: not necessarily artistic or creative or original, but a Smug human made it rather than a machine<\/li>\n<li>Direct trade: farmed or crafted\u00a0items from which\u00a0a third world producer may actually eke out a miserly third world\u00a0living<\/li>\n<li>Fair trade: farmed or crafted third world items that force a poverty stricken craftsperson\/farmer to share meager profits with exporters and a multi-tiered foundation<\/li>\n<li>Farmers\u2019 Market: any community\u2019s Smug Epicenter, which will also be the only place you are allowed to buy produce if you are Smug<\/li>\n<li>Foraged: slick new term for items, especially mushrooms, that have been picked from an outdoor location<\/li>\n<li>Heirloom: the expensive, multicolored, premium tomatoes your grandparents just called \u201ctomatoes\u201d<\/li>\n<li>Local: food some other people, probably a bunch of migrant workers along with a Simon Legree or two, drive up to eight hours to get to you<\/li>\n<li>Local-Seasonal-Organic: Smug version of the Trinity and Smug Scout&#8217;s only connection with an organized religion<\/li>\n<li>Market-driven: refers to a pricey menu that features produce too unusual and expensive to find in a supermarket other than a \u00a0Whole Foods on the West Coast<\/li>\n<li>Organic: an expensive certification process that essentially means that any animal feces residue will not kill you<\/li>\n<li>Raw: the only &#8220;living&#8221; food vegetarians can eat<\/li>\n<li>Reclaimed: some garbage put to another use<\/li>\n<li>Repurposed: some random old useless object, not yet called garbage, put to another use<\/li>\n<li>Seasonal: has never traveled in a container ship from South America or China<\/li>\n<li>Single-source\/single-origin: no race mixing in your coffee<\/li>\n<li>Sustainable: you\u2019re allowed to eat it\/drink it\/wear it without feeling guilty<\/li>\n<li>Vintage: the stage before \u201crepurposed\u201d<\/li>\n<li>Whole Foods: an amusement park for Smug shoppers (note: Smug Scout will never call it \u201cWhole Paycheck\u201d because high prices reflect quality and social justice)<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Artisanal: appropriately, if absurdly, expensive and beautifully, if cynically, packaged to appeal to the Smug consumer Backyard: unrelated to an actual yard, refers to anything you\u00a0could\u00a0make by hand if you didn\u2019t prefer to pay someone an exorbitant amount to make &hellip; 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