{"id":390,"date":"2012-10-30T08:49:01","date_gmt":"2012-10-30T15:49:01","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/smugscout.com\/?p=390"},"modified":"2012-10-30T10:55:15","modified_gmt":"2012-10-30T17:55:15","slug":"be-smug-during-a-weather-catastrophe","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/smugscout.com\/?p=390","title":{"rendered":"Be Smug during a weather catastrophe"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a>Smug Scout is very sorry that so many of her loved ones (and some much less loved) are suffering through this hurricane or cyclone or “superstorm” or “Frankenstorm” or whatever\u00a0bogus made-up word\u00a0it is called now. However, she is proud that many intrepid Smug scouts in that glowing Smug epicenter, Brooklyn, had their Smug priorities straight while shopping for the best Smug\u00a0products\u00a0to get them through days of homebound isolation, days with nary an Apple gadget to keep them company or\u00a0to connect them with hundreds of indifferent acquaintances across the country. How does she know to be proud? Here is what she read in the New York Times (the only paper worth reading):<\/p>\n

“If New Yorkers were reluctant to leave, they showed no reluctance to shop, hitting the stores and emptying shelves of batteries, bottled water and, in the case of the Fairway market in Red Hook, Brooklyn, kale. Multiple Whole Foods Markets were scenes of bedlam.”<\/p>\n

Smug Scout understands that emergencies call for kale, though she wishes she knew what kind, even\u00a0as she knows that people\u00a0who do not\u00a0live in\u00a0California may get cross when she asks that.\u00a0She feels that Red Russian kale would be the most festive kind to get through an unprecedented weather catastrophe.\u00a0However,\u00a0since it is an actual emergency, she would make do with the ordinary curly kind.\u00a0When the whole\u00a0East Coast has been so devastated by a storm surge that local farmers are\u00a0concentrating somewhat\u00a0more on staying\u00a0alive\u00a0than\u00a0harvesting Smug crops, it is important\u00a0to remember that kale is kale is kale.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Anyway, now that you have your kale (and presumably enough red wine and local artisanal spirits to get you through the hurricane as well as a few\u00a0subsequent nuclear meltdowns), Smug Scout would like to propose that since you also\u00a0have\u00a0a great deal of\u00a0time, no electricity, and a refrigerator full of eggs on the brink of inferior edibility, you will certainly want to make a gigantic\u00a0kale Caesar salad.\u00a0Open your cupboard,\u00a0open your\u00a0darkened refrigerator, and quickly\u00a0remove the following staples:<\/p>\n