{"id":458,"date":"2012-11-16T07:27:06","date_gmt":"2012-11-16T15:27:06","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/smugscout.com\/?p=458"},"modified":"2012-11-16T07:27:06","modified_gmt":"2012-11-16T15:27:06","slug":"smug-recycling-contraption","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/smugscout.com\/?p=458","title":{"rendered":"Smug Recycling Contraption"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"http:\/\/smugscout.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/11\/recycling-container.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-459\" title=\"Portsmouth recycling container\" src=\"http:\/\/smugscout.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/11\/recycling-container-300x225.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"225\" srcset=\"http:\/\/smugscout.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/11\/recycling-container-300x225.jpg 300w, http:\/\/smugscout.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/11\/recycling-container-400x300.jpg 400w, http:\/\/smugscout.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/11\/recycling-container.jpg 960w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" \/><\/a>If there is a Smug recycling contraption somewhere in the world, where do you, my\u00a0Smug readers, think it could possibly be? Take this test:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>A.\u00a0Switzerland, which has the\u00a0highest rate of recycling\u00a0worldwide<\/li>\n<li>B. San Francisco, which has the most comprehensive recycling program in the U.S.<\/li>\n<li>C. Los Angeles, which offers full recycling and composting at area farmers&#8217; markets<\/li>\n<li>D. Portsmouth, which is in the state of New Hampshire<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>You will be astonished to find out that the winner is D, Portsmouth. Enough with the Portsmouth mania, you non-Portsmouth residents may be crying out. Too bad Portsmouth routinely outdoes all other epicenters\u00a0in virtually any Smugness competition. Smug Scout simply cannot ignore the fact that Portsmouth all but invented Smug Scout.<\/p>\n<p>And now Portsmouth has this new bossy and redundant recycling contraption. Smug Scout is fascinated that it not only tells you what to do, it also repeats that same information as what <em>not<\/em> to do. For example, the\u00a0left\u00a0side is for &#8220;No Trash&#8221; but the right side is for &#8220;Trash.&#8221; Similarly, the\u00a0left side demands &#8220;Cans&#8221; which the\u00a0right side\u00a0rejects: &#8220;No Cans.&#8221; This redundancy is moron-friendly. In essence, a moron only needs to read one set of instructions to operate the contraption\u00a0accurately, but if he\/she is\u00a0too befuddled, the other\u00a0set gives the same instructions <em>negated<\/em>, so the chance of\u00a0accurate placement of disposed items increases. What a Smug and savvy system, Portsmouth!<\/p>\n<p>The other aspect Smug Scout loves is the implicit dire warning involved in the\u00a0sign on the\u00a0right: &#8220;Landfill.&#8221; For Smug people,\u00a0&#8220;landfill&#8221; may as well mean &#8220;nuclear waste dump site.&#8221;\u00a0For Smug Portsmouth residents,\u00a0it\u00a0may also mean &#8220;Turnkey Landfill,&#8221; which is a grotesquely large\u00a0fetid stinking\u00a0mass of a garbage dump in the nearby town of Rochester. Smug Scout only knows about this because\u00a0a Smug\u00a0Portsmouth Bartender friend took her\u00a0there as part of\u00a0an extensive tour of his\u00a0hometown and\u00a0its\u00a0environs. He thought it would be funny for Smug Scout to be utterly disgusted. Smug Scout\u00a0was actually more disgusted by the anti-Smug\u00a0restaurant he\u00a0brought\u00a0her to afterwards, but she digresses.<\/p>\n<p>In short, you do not want to need the &#8220;Landfill&#8221; side. You\u00a0do not want to buy anything you have to dispose of there. You do not want that self-righteous judgment from spying Smug bystanders.\u00a0If you cannot finish, for example, that revolting pasty, gummy,\u00a0flavorless,\u00a0vicious-insult-to- the-New-England-tradition\u00a0clam chowder from, for example,\u00a0New Hampshire&#8217;s\u00a0worst restaurant\u00a0(could it be in&#8230;Rochester?), you would be better off dumping it in the toilet and renaming it &#8220;puke.&#8221; After all, in an eco-obsessed Smug context, &#8220;threw it\u00a0up&#8221; is somehow less\u00a0egregious than\u00a0&#8220;threw it out.&#8221;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>If there is a Smug recycling contraption somewhere in the world, where do you, my\u00a0Smug readers, think it could possibly be? Take this test: A.\u00a0Switzerland, which has the\u00a0highest rate of recycling\u00a0worldwide B. San Francisco, which has the most comprehensive recycling &hellip; <a href=\"http:\/\/smugscout.com\/?p=458\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[4],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/smugscout.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/458"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/smugscout.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/smugscout.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/smugscout.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/smugscout.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=458"}],"version-history":[{"count":7,"href":"http:\/\/smugscout.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/458\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":466,"href":"http:\/\/smugscout.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/458\/revisions\/466"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/smugscout.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=458"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/smugscout.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=458"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/smugscout.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=458"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}